Posted in Storytime

100 Years of Dorothy

A frozen breath curled from my lips and vanished into the cold night air. Above the violet, neon signs and the clustered crowds slurring from bar to bar, I could just barely make out those three familiar dots in the sky. Uniformed in a line amidst the constellation Orion. Even through the clouds of dust, deceit, and murky breath the stars still made their routine appearance over my apartment building. Their twinkling eyes peeking through the fire escape like the steady orange glow at the end of a cigarette.

While walking past Leland and Cecile’s, a patron swung the door open and a waft of cigarette smoke filled my nostrils. Most would find it to be revolting, but for me it was the scent of a memory. Her laugh. Her laugh is what played in my head the most. The nasally, asthmatic chuckling of a dedicated smoker. She was so dedicated that she only quit smoking because the cost was too high. Even when the doctors told her she had throat cancer, she quit for a while, but went back to it as soon as she was cleared. It was this sweet, smell of dirty tobacco that rebelled against her body as she did society.

She lived by no one’s rules but her own. A tough and sassy rebel with the kindest of natures. We would sit in the gazebo out back after my parents would drop my sister and I off for the evening. Her, smiling and leaning in to our eager little faces as she whispered for us to keep this our little secret. Click, Inhale, Exhale. The dirtied breath leaving her lungs as the smell of tobacco invaded the springtime air. That’s when her stories began. How the barn blew away in a tornado, how she survived living in a house with only one bathroom (and raising four daughters in it), and how Great Grandpa Bert went to escape all the drama in the garage and danced around to The Eagles while building furniture.

There never seemed to be a dull moment in her life, that is, until her time on earth came closer to its end. Her lively attitude faded slowly as the twinkling stars did when the morning sun crept above the horizon.

She could barely get out of bed. She said that Bert needed her in heaven and to meet him by Orion, so she replied that she wanted a soda. The daughter by her side followed her bidding and gingerly took her time going down both flights of stairs to the basement. The daughter retrieved the drink and went back upstairs. How strange it must have felt to get a soda that was doomed to be left undrunk. I mean, this tough rebel hated soda. She despised soda. But she loved her daughter enough to leave a lasting memory rather than a lasting nightmare.

As my boots softly padded against the concrete with each step, I couldn’t help but wonder what stories she would have told now. Like how she would have laughed watching me try to swing dance, how she would have pinned my picture to the fridge to show me off to her friends, and how she would have hugged me and laughed when I told her I loved the smell of her cigarettes. The story possibilities were infinite, but this short life we live isn’t.

She would have been one hundred today. For one hundred years she would have been here, making memories. But instead I am left to reminisce the ashes of the ones she left behind.

To the world, these past one hundred years may have looked like progress, smelled like success, and sounded like innovation. But to me, it looked like her, smelled like tobacco, and sounded like a rusty laugh.

 

 

*1st place at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire’s Center for Writing Excellence Spring 2017 writing contest (Theme: Centennial or 100)*

Posted in Storytime

Bravery

In today’s society, bravery seems to be defined as the absence of fear. A synonym of fearlessness. That when someone is faced with the choice to run away with terror or run head on with courage, they choose courage. It’s in almost every movie and storybook that allows our minds to escape our dull daily lives.

The story is simple:

The superhero starts off ordinary. Then they find out they are anything but ordinary. They have special powers that they decide to use for good. A villain comes around, someone who uses their powers for evil, and starts to wreak havoc on the citizens of the world. The superhero must then decide to run away with fear, or run head on with courage. They ultimately decide to face the villain and they win. The superhero is then considered brave and courageous.

But this definition of bravery being fearlessness is flawed. It is impossible to live through life without any fear. Fear is a constant storm that rages in our minds. It never ceases to exist so we must build a shelter to protect ourselves from its wrath. The shelter we build with our hope and strength, however, it’s only temporary. The storm of fear thrashes against it with raining bullets and thunderous punches. It shatters windows with its piercing screams and rams it with howling winds. It’s the temper tantrum of fear that desecrates the walls that we surround ourselves with. We can either let the fear take over our lives, or decide to be brave. To be brave despite the fright and keep building the shelter to protect us from the storm. The storm that is always there, but doesn’t always have to win.

Being brave is exhausting, it is the constant upkeep of our shelter. When someone is fighting a battle there is physical exhaustion of course, but the mental exhaustion is what gets them in the end. The constant battle against fear with the tireless effort to build up the walls that fear tears down. The terror will never go away, so why does society think that being brave means to be without fear?

Being brave doesn’t mean you don’t fear anything. Being brave means that even though you are entirely and absolutely filled with fear, doubt, uncertainty, and terror, you still decide to act with blind courage because there is something more important to you than those fears.

When you have a terminal illness you fear death, but life is more important. When you face depression you fear life, but happiness is more important. When you charge into battle you fear a brutal death, but protecting your people and values are more important. When you have fear, something is always more important.

I won’t be the last to say it, or the last time you think of it, but it is completely and utterly okay to be afraid. It is okay to fear because bravery is not easy. It is not as simple as one would like to believe. It may come more naturally to some than others, but that doesn’t mean that it is not possible for someone to be brave. Do not think for a second that you are not capable of being brave.

You have the ability to be a superhero, just look a little closer at the story of your life. You are led to believe that you are ordinary, but you are anything but ordinary. You have hidden special powers that you can decide to use for good. You have villains that try to destroy your world. You have the choice to run away in fear, or run head on with courage. You can defeat the villain and save your world. You can be brave and courageous.

We all have the capability to fear and conquer those fears. “It’s all in your head” is what they say about fear, but “it’s all in your heart” is what they should say instead about bravery.  Because bravery is not to be without fear, but to decide what is more important: fear or bravery. The choice is yours.

Posted in Pros and Cons

Pros and Cons: Glasses

Glasses are these amazing inventions that can help people to see the world in all of its crystal-clear glory. But then again, they can be a real pain to handle. Here are some pros and cons of wearing glasses.

Pros

1. You can see things. Contrary to popular belief, glasses are not just hipster accessories. They are actually used to see things with somewhat of a degree of comfort. Don’t get me wrong, contacts are pretty awesome and useful, but you don’t see people “putting on their contacts” after a long hard day’s work. I have personally had glasses since 1st grade and I would consider myself somewhat of a “glasses connoisseur”. Without them, I can’t see much other than blurry blobs of color and my glasses give me a clearer picture of the world around me. I am very thankful for them.

2. It’s another fashionable accessory. Yes, so I’ve already made the hipster glasses joke, but glasses can definitely be a fashion statement. You can choose a bright color to add some color to your wardrobe or choose a more neutral color to really make those beautiful eyes pop. Whatever your style, I’m sure that there is a pair of glasses to match. Except avoid extreme choices like an eyeglass, fake lenses, ones you can’t see your eyes behind, or glasses that look like goggles. Leave those to the experts.

3. Impression of intelligence. If I had a dime for every time a secret agent in a movie goes undercover at a college and puts on glasses “for effect”, I’d be rich enough to be that actress in the movie. Glasses have always been associated with intelligence. I don’t have the expertise to tell you why, but I can tell you that this is a fact. Google “librarian” and about 80% of the people pictured are wearing glasses. Not saying that all librarians are intelligent, but the glasses do make them look like they could repeat the entire dictionary by memory.

Cons

1. Easily smudged. The only problem with having to look through a piece of glass in order to see because it is the deciding factor in how clean you are able to see the world. I rarely take the time to clean my glasses (not the best option, I know) so I tend to be the “shirt-cleaner” of the group. You can always pick them out in a crowd because they’ll take off their glasses and grab the edge of their shirt and “clean” them off when the world begins to look like a gigantic fingerprint.

2. No extra glasses such as sunglasses, 3D glasses, or protective glasses. I don’t like 3-D movies. No, not because of the awesome graphics that seem to come alive and jump off the screen. It’s because you have to wear those silly glasses in order to see it like that. Glasses wearers will understand this completely. Having to either choose to be blinded by the sun without sunglasses or being “blind” with sunglasses. Most, including me, will not stoop down to the level of over-the-glasses sunglasses. The idea of being called six-eyes doesn’t sound all that appealing.

3. Misplacing your glasses is like misplacing your eyes. You’re getting ready for the day, about to head out the door until suddenly you realize the world outside is a bit blurrier than the usual. You laugh at the fact that you were almost going to leave the house without your glasses and you run back to find them. Except you can’t find them, you must have put them on your bed, but all your sheets are on the floor. You wish at this point there was an app that would help you. It’s a good thing your carpet is blue, the same color of your glasses. You get on your hands and knees and start raking the carpet like sand until you stumble across them, glad that they’re not broken. Now imagine this scenario but replace glasses with eyes. Pretty much the same thing in a glasses-wearer’s world.

However, even though glasses can be a pain to manage, I still love to wear them. Even though it would be nice to have perfect vision…but then again, it’s much better looking at yourself in the mirror without them, it’s like a built-in filter that makes you look flawless.

Posted in Numbers

The 5 People You’ll Definitely Meet in College

You’ll meet a lot of people when you attend college, but here are five people that you are for sure going to cross paths with:

1. The Partier

Oh boy. Here it comes! They’re gonna do something really stupid this time. I am not dragging their drunkenness home today. Don’t do it! Ah geez, they did it. They did the worm…on the floor…on the nasty bar floor.

There is always that one person at college that seems to spend every single weekend partying. No matter what their doing during the week or if they have to work at 8 am the next morning, they will be out drinking and dancing the night away. The amazing thing about these students is that no matter how much you think they slack off during the week because they party too hard, they will probably get better grades than you. It’s a phenomenon that I like to call “The Slacker but A+ Maker”. It will amaze you that they’re still in school and some nights when you’re at home studying hard, you will wonder why they were gifted with this incredible superpower, and you weren’t.

2. The Marathoner

FRIEND: “Are you good?”

ME: “Yeah, I’m fine!”  

Sweet mother of cornbread I think my lungs are gonna burst. Uhhhhhhh! My body was not meant for this kind of crap! Okay, we’re almost done, I can see the finish line. I can almost taste the sweet victory of the greasy, cheesy bread-sticks I have been dreaming about since we started this stupid run.

FRIEND: “Oh, my gosh! That path looks so beautiful! Let’s take a quick turn here and then we can go back…are you sure you’re okay?”

ME: “Sure!”

WHAT THE F***! I’M NOT MADE OF MUSCLES! ALL I GOT ARE ROLLS OF LOVE!

There will always be the one person that is more athletic than the athletes themselves. Their attire will consist of either flamboyant yoga pants or multi-colored basketball shorts. You will see them all the time when you are on your way to various events, and they will always run by, smile, and wave. And as they pass, you’ll feel really guilty for all the exercise you haven’t done and the fact that you are on your way to get a giant slice of pizza. Don’t feel bad! We all have different exercise routines (if we have them at all) and some are just more excelled at it than others. I can speak from experience. If they ask you to go on a run with them, the answer is “no”. The answer should always be “no”. Unless you want to collapse and puke in front of a campus tour group and make a fool out of yourself (true story).

3. The Complainer

“FRIEND”: “Ugh! My day has been a literal piece of garbage. Like literally. I have soooo much to do. I have to do my laundry, go to work, and I have soooo much homework too. Ugh! And my boyfriend has been a real jerk this week, he laughed when I broke my nail in class the other day. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I BROKE IT? It was so horrible, Jeanie was all like….”

ME: “Uh huh.”

Wait, I lost track. How many ceiling tiles are there again? I’ll just count again. 1. 2. 3…

Honestly, as college students we are all prone to complain every now and then. It’s completely normal! Sometimes we have to release the stress of the day and vent to someone. I think that this is a really good way to relieve some stress and get someone else’s perspective. But there is a limit. And some people love to cross this limit. These are the people that will complain and complain and complain. Every conversation will start with “hello” and go immediately into what is wrong with their life. They will claim that they have the worst life ever (yes, because getting a college education is “so awful” and having a roof over your head is “so awful”). It will take a lot out of you to not verbalize these sarcastic remarks. But please don’t be mean about it. Maybe start with something gentle, like “WE ARE ALL BUSY! JOIN THE F***ING CLUB!”

4. The Crush That Goes Nowhere

CRUSH: “Hey.”

ME: “Hey.”

They just looked at me and said “hey”! Were they happy to see me? Or were they upset, maybe they don’t like me. It was the grey shirt, yup, they think I’m a dull freak. But I’m pretty classy…did I have something in my teeth? I’m just gonna adopt a lot of dogs, yup, I’m gonna be alone forever. I’m done with relationships! I’m just gonna ignore them now…

CRUSH: “Hey, do you have a pencil I can borrow.”

ME: “YES. YES, I DO. I HAVE 500 TO CHOOSE FROM. I LOVE Y…YUGOSLAVIA.”

Definitely stick with the dogs.

Ah yes. The allure of young love and romance. You’d probably be lying to yourself if you say that you’ve never had a crush before. I, unfortunately, have had plenty in my lifetime and pretty much all of them have gone nowhere. What I mean by “nowhere” is that you will have a crush on this person for the entirety of your college career, and it will be nothing more than that. You’ll admire from afar, but never get the chance, or maybe the nerve, to tell them. Now, you may be thinking “Why don’t you just talk to them? Maybe they’ll like you back? Why are you admiring from afar? Go get ‘em!” Well, all I have to say about that is: how would their significant other feel? Just saying.

5. The BFF for Life

BFF: “Hey.”

ME: “Hey.”

BFF: “Wanna drink wine and watch Disney movies?”

ME: “Hell yes”

BFF: “Hakuna-freakin’-matata here we come!”

This is the person that will make your life at college awesome. They’ll always be there for you on the days you want to chill, the days when you need to cry, the days when you need to laugh, and on the days when you want to nap on the couch while they watch HGTV. This is the person that you will always hang onto, even when you go your separate ways after you graduate. When you meet this person, you’ll know. And they’ll be the best part about college yet, except for the studying, classes, and educational stuff of course.

All in all, college is a great experience and you’ll meet a lot of awesome people that you’ll never forget!

Posted in Letters

A Letter to My Unruly Hair

Dear Hair,

I know it’s not your fault. Genetics are half to blame for the frizzy mop that you have become. You have Dad to thank for that one. The other half of the blame falls on my general lack of expertise in hair.

You were not blessed with the skill to flawlessly cascade down to my shoulders. You were not meant to produce bouncy curls or soft waves. You were not meant to look like beach waves or straight as a pencil. You were not meant to look like magazine models or the girls on America’s Next Top Model.

The only style I’ve ever really done is tuck you back into a ponytail (our signature look). Nothing too fancy like a French braid, or a regular braid for that matter. No curly cues or crimped up does. No half-ponies or pigtails. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I did give those hairstyles a try before. Don’t you remember those days?

Once, I use to style you in Shirley Temple curls that framed my face. You bounced and were different than my normal look. But the amount of gel it took to get you to look good was extensive. I knew it was the end of the curly hair era when that boy asked that stupid question in our afternoon history class:

CLUELESS BOY:  “Did you just get to school?”

ME:                        “Uh…no?”

CLUELESS BOY:  “Then why is your hair wet?”

ME:                        “It’s hair gel, it makes the curls stay.”

CLUELESS BOY:  “Oh…sorry.”

*He pauses*

CLUELESS BOY:  “I mean it’s okay to say it’s sweat. No need to feel embarrassed”

I have never ended a hairstyle so swiftly.

I’ve also straightened you to a pin. It was the only way I found to be quite efficient and lovely. It was smooth and luxurious. It was easy to handle, flip, and twirl around my finger. I felt like an Herbal Essences model, flipping you around in the wind, eyeing those handsome boys…but then “it” would come.

“It” being any type of precipitation that would fall from the sky. One drop and you decided that it was time to shrivel right back up. I know that you nor I can control the weather, but man, I wished some days I was Pajama Sam and I could at least tweak it for our benefit.

And, to be honest, I’m just lazy. It takes me forever to get you to look like that. I spend at least an hour taming, frying, and spraying. I would rather sleep that extra hour than try to wrangle you into a suitable hairstyle.

Yes, I’ve heard it all before. It doesn’t look professional. It makes you look like a kid. It shouldn’t be an everyday hairstyle. You should embrace your natural hair. You should learn to get faster at doing your hair in other ways, etc. But to all those people who constantly tell me these things…why are you so concerned with my hair? IT’S JUST HAIR FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! (No offense to you of course).

Although I may say that I hate you sometimes, curse at the rain, and bundle you up into a ponytail…I do indeed love you.

I love the way you always remind me that I can’t control everything in life. I love when I wake up in the morning and look at you in all your fluffy, frizzy, glory. I love you because you haven’t fallen out of my head, you’ve stuck around for the long run. I love the way you make me feel like I’m in an 80’s hairband in the morning and I can head bang like it was my job. Nothing is more freeing than dancing around to “I Wanna Be Sedated” by the Ramones, swinging my hair around, and singing into my hairbrush.

And when all is set and done, you willingly let me pull you back into my signature ponytail. Then there she is. Me. The reflection in the mirror suddenly becomes the “me” I recognize. The “me” that needs to prove nothing to nobody because she can wear whatever darn hairstyle she pleases because she’ll still be one hell of a beautiful woman.

So, to my future self I say: may your ponytails never snap, may your curls and waves run free, may your hairline stay intact, and may your days be filled with ponytails (and cupcakes too, cause why not?).

Love you lots so never change!

From,

Yours Truly

 

Posted in Love it or Hate it

Love it or Hate it: Rain

This is a little category that I like to call Love It or Hate It. First, I’ll tell you reasons to love it. Second, I’ll tell you the reasons to hate it. Then I’ll tell you my final verdict and you’re more than welcome to comment which one you would choose and why. I would love to hear from you!

Love it

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Photo Credit: http://www.pbs.org

1. Makes everything green. Okay, so I might be a bit biased on this one, but I LOVE the color green. I have a green backpack, green sheets, green curtains, green walls, etc. So, when it rains, I know that the grass and plants will become vibrant in my favorite color. Who doesn’t want to see their favorite color everywhere.

2. Has a soothing sound. On those chilly days when the sun isn’t shining and the rain is pitter pattering outside. There is nothing better than cuddling up in some warm blankets and listening to the sound of the raindrops tapping on the ground. There are even videos and apps that you can plug into and listen to that sound on repeat for hours on end. I don’t know why it is so soothing, but boy am I glad that it is.

3. Cleans things for free. When it rains, I want it to pour. I want buckets and buckets of fast punching rain to smack the ground. All so I don’t have to bring my car to the car wash to get the thousands of bugs off my windshield that I’ve been staring every time I drive. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve actually given certain smashed bugs names because they’ve been on there so long. I mean, it’s not always a good thing though. The looks I get when I’m staring out the window at my car screaming “DIE, LARRY, DIE!” is enough for anyone to question my sanity.

4. Good luck. I am definitely the sucker that believes that rain is a sign of good luck. Yeah it may have originally meant good luck if it rained on your wedding day, but I disagree. I think that at any time in your life, when it starts to rain it’s a sign that your luck is about to turn for the better. Maybe that’s why the Irish are always considered so lucky, because it rains ALL THE TIME there at RANDOM INTERVALS (based on my experience).

Hate it

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1. Soaks you to the bone. When your someone who has gone so low as to go to the bathroom right before your Accounting 301 final to wring out at least a gallon of water from your jeans, the rain becomes enemy number one of the day. We’ve all probably had that experience when we channel our inner cat as we growl and hiss down a long hallway, dripping wet, and squeaking with every step. The rain is fun to watch from inside, but unless your Don Lockwood from Singing in the Rain, you may not be as excited to walk in it.

2. Traffic, traffic, and more traffic. All I have to say about this is: ITS JUST WATER! WHY IN THE WORLD ARE WE GOING SO FREAKING SLOW! ARGH! I’m cool…I’m cool…I know that it’s raining and we need to go slower…BUT IT’S ONLY MISTING! THE CLOUDS ARE GIVING LITTLE SNEEZES AND WE’RE TREATING IT LIKE A TIDAL WAVE. (But in all seriousness, please drive as comfortably and slowly as you want in the rain. Safety first.)

3. It always seems to happen when you are the least prepared.

ACT I SCENE I

“Oh would you look at that, it’s raining. It’s a good thing I didn’t bring my umbrella, a rain jacket, a hat, or anything to keep my papers dry with me,” said everyone.

THE END.

My Verdict: LOVE IT

Yes, there are plenty negatives about the rain. But for me personally, the rain is something that has a special meaning. Ever since I was in Ireland, I began to love the rain a little more with every sprinkle. Like the time it started to torrential downpour and I had to bolt into a little coffee shop to avoid it. I had the best cup of coffee I’d ever had (and I don’t even like coffee that much). Or the time I was walking back from the bus stop to my apartment and it started to rain, then hail and I was forced to stand underneath a bridge. Good thing there was a young lad with a guitar there to play us some tunes while we waited out the rain.

To me, rain is good luck. It may not seem like it at the time and you may hate it in the moment, but you may be surprised by what the tides bring in. Except if you see a literal tidal wave of water coming your way, please run away as quickly as possible.

Posted in Pros and Cons

Pros and Cons of Taking Lots of Naps

I can tell you from personal experience that napping is the closest to heaven that you’ll ever get. Seriously, I usually go to sleep feeling like a queen and wake up like a zombie. So, for all my fellow nappers or wannabe nappers out there, here is a list of why naps can be a wondrous thing but can also be your ticket to starring in the next episode of The Walking Dead.

Pros

1. Get some extra rest. If you’re like me and part nocturnal animal, you know that bedtime usually occurs around 1-3 AM. My mind seems to crank up the creative juices around this time and I can’t seem to fall asleep. I end up doing homework, writing the next great American novel…okay that’s a lie. I usually end up in the deep dark depths of YouTube watching some montage of old 70’s commercials for 43 minutes (true story). But in all honesty, when I go to sleep at 3 AM and have to get up at 8 AM the next day, it’s nice to catch a few more hours of z’s.

2. The glorious feeling of cuddling into bed. There is nothing better than coming back after a long day and throwing yourself into your bed. You wrap yourself up in the covers, curl your body up, and breath out the words “I think I’m just going to marry my bed.”

3. “Don’t worry about a thing,” as Bob Marley would say. It’s one of the places, for me, that becomes a little safe haven. A place where I can go and leave my phone on my desk and just relax. I don’t have to worry about homework, work, text messages (my bad), or first world problems. Just taking a little time to unwind during the middle of the day is just as amazing as it sounds.

However, there are some negative side effects of taking naps during the middle of the day.

Cons

1. “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” Seriously, when you’re a full-time college student, part-time worker, have a Netflix binge list, and have a social life (yes, I do have one) it makes it nearly impossible to cut out a little time for yourself to indulge in a nap. Even when you join the working force and start #adulting, it becomes harder to find time to take a break.

2. Waking up and wondering what year it is. We have all done this before. Your eyes have just parted and you glance around the room for a second wondering where the t-rex with laser eyes just went. You lift your head up and wipe the drool from your chin. Then you wonder, where am I? This then turns into, what time is it? Then you read the time “8:32” on your bright phone screen and have a little moment of panic that your late for class. This lasts for a few moments until you realize your half-hour nap at 2 PM has just ended at 8:32 PM. Oops.

3. “Just 5 more minutes,” turns into “I’m late for work.” You can say this is an apology to my co-workers for knowing me as the girl that shows up late to work because you’ve hit the snooze button a few to many times. I work at night, so when I take these “short” naps during the day, I end up getting a little too cozy. The panic that ensues when I wake up makes me look like a drunk goose on the outside as I stumble out of bed and flip on the lights. Check my hair, check my clothes, text my boss “Well s***, I fell asleep, I’m on my way” (Sorry Anna). The punishment for this usually ends up being the embarrassment I feel when people start mentioning the sheet marks on my face. But hey, at least they never seem notice the drool stains.

Overall, naps can be a wonderful thing, but just remember to sleep in moderation. Being an avid napper myself, I highly recommend it, but just remember to be wary of its side effects. So, sleep on my friends, sleep on.

Posted in Uncategorized

There is No Such Thing as Beginner’s Luck

 

First, let me start off by saying that I am by no means qualified or professionally trained to be a blogger. I mean, the only thing that I have ever really written for the public eye to read are terrible posts on Facebook regarding how excited I am to be going to [insert Midwestern stereotype here] with [insert common name with weird spelling here]. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t have a bit of beginner’s luck here, as any wise old person would tell you.

It was just like the time I joined the junior high school competitive swimming team. All those years of swimming lessons my parents put me through really paid off. Especially when they came to their daughters first swim meet to cheer her on.

They watched in excitement as I jumped from the starting platform and gracefully landed like a beached whale on cement. If you ever wondered where the “Ooo” sound on any audio-board came from, it was probably from the audience that witnessed the beginning of the ugliest bruise I’ve ever had.

But hey, at least I didn’t break anything. Beginner’s luck.

Oh, how can I forget the first time I did my taxes? Every accountant, including myself, will always remember the first tax return they ever filed.

The excitement that fills your fingers as you frantically peck away at the computer. Excel does all the challenging work while you simply copy the information from your whopping total of one W2. The satisfaction of the numbers finally balancing, printing it out on crisp white paper (the expensive stuff), and looking in horror at the wrong form you just spent two hours filling out.

Because the last time you checked, you were not a corporation. But hey, at least you didn’t file it yet. Beginner’s luck.

If the sarcasm hasn’t sunk in yet, I’ll give it to you straight: there is no such thing as beginner’s luck. Sure, every once in a while the penny gods will send one your way, but I wouldn’t rely on copper coins to ensure your success.

So, we’ll see how this “blogging” goes and hopefully you’ll stick around for the ride, if not, I hope to have cracked a sly smirk at least once. But hey, at least I don’t have quite the following yet. Beginner’s luck.